This week I am really slacking on the blog. I have read in the Door of Hope book. However, I have not had the time to post. The week has been chaotic! Work is overwhelming, my house is endless dirty, have things stacked everywhere because I can't seem to get organized, my budget needs organization.....etc. My budget has me really stressed right now.
I will continue with the Door of Hope blogs here soon. This week was just a bit to chaotic to start a blog.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Late dinner again!
I started another late dinner! Dang!
It makes me so made when I can not organize my day. I was trying to get things done today but not too much because I've been so sick lately. I didn't want to tire myself too much during the weekend. Lets see....I put my sheets in the washer around 7pm. I should have started dinner around 6ish. I mentioned starting dinner and it was on my mind but I got carried playing on the computer and talking to my cousin. I wasted time as always. Why does procrastination have to be an after affect of the abuse?? It drives me nuts!
So, dinner got started around 8:15, which consists of baking chicken and making a slight marinara sauce to top the angel hair pasta that I put the chicken on. I made it up. It was really good actually but it didn't get done until 9:30. LATE LATE LATE!!!!!!
I thought I could still get in bed early....nope! Down to one pair of sheets. The other pair of sheets I had are no more. So, I have to wait for the sheets to dry that I forgot to put in the dryer. I have succeeded again to create another stressed night before I go to bed at a bad time, I might add. This means I will not sleep well again and be grumpy in the early morn!
It makes me so made when I can not organize my day. I was trying to get things done today but not too much because I've been so sick lately. I didn't want to tire myself too much during the weekend. Lets see....I put my sheets in the washer around 7pm. I should have started dinner around 6ish. I mentioned starting dinner and it was on my mind but I got carried playing on the computer and talking to my cousin. I wasted time as always. Why does procrastination have to be an after affect of the abuse?? It drives me nuts!
So, dinner got started around 8:15, which consists of baking chicken and making a slight marinara sauce to top the angel hair pasta that I put the chicken on. I made it up. It was really good actually but it didn't get done until 9:30. LATE LATE LATE!!!!!!
I thought I could still get in bed early....nope! Down to one pair of sheets. The other pair of sheets I had are no more. So, I have to wait for the sheets to dry that I forgot to put in the dryer. I have succeeded again to create another stressed night before I go to bed at a bad time, I might add. This means I will not sleep well again and be grumpy in the early morn!
My project and what it is about
This is my first attempt at a blog. I will admit that I am not eager to start this blog. However, I feel that it will help me overcome the problems of my past. I am hoping that writing about it on a blog will be like talking about but without fear. What I mean about fear is that by blogging about this I don't have to see that look on a person's face and in their eyes....of sympathy or of just "oh Fuck!" I don't have to hear the repeated phrase that tears me to my core, "get over it already". Yes, therapy is good but here I don't have limits. I don't have to look at any one. I can just be me. This blog is my breaking free and learning to soar project.
As a child I was abused sexually, mentally, and physically. I have a lot of repressed memories that are haunting me. I dream of them, making functioning in reality near impossible. These memories are of sexual abuse and I am hoping that blogging about what I dream, feel, etc will help me remember these haunting memories in order for me to take steps to a new life. A life without nightmares, without pain, without fear.
Welcome to my steps of soaring!
As a child I was abused sexually, mentally, and physically. I have a lot of repressed memories that are haunting me. I dream of them, making functioning in reality near impossible. These memories are of sexual abuse and I am hoping that blogging about what I dream, feel, etc will help me remember these haunting memories in order for me to take steps to a new life. A life without nightmares, without pain, without fear.
Welcome to my steps of soaring!
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